Saturday, June 16, 2012

Funeral Service

Today was something I have been preparing for for a while, so all in all it was a good day of celebration. There were a few moments where I had to stop and pause, breathe, before tearing up, but I held it together... a lot more than other people, but that's okay. Here was the service:

 I Will Carry You- Selah 
 Scripture and Prayer
Jeremiah 1:5- "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..."
2 Cor. 1:6- In our time of waiting you have comforted us and taken on our suffering with us.
How He Loves- David Crowder Band
Speakers/Parents letter
"God is our Comforter" by Angela Thomas
Beautiful Things- Gungor
God Of This City- Chris Tomlin

My letter to Kendall:
Kendall, My Letter to you:
   (Started a week before you are born) You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps 139:14). It’s hard to come up with the right words on what to say and how much we love you. Like all of our children, we’ve loved you before you were made. We’ve planned for you and long for you in our lives. Now we’re at a point where all we can count on is prayer. I’ve almost hit my body’s distance in how far I can carry you. We’re within 1 week and your fluid growing. And not being able to plan for a date, which keeps changing, is driving me nuts. Finally, we set a final date next week, June 6th, if we can still get to that day.
   I go between thinking the worst and then reminding myself to think of the best. Still praying for that all healing miracle. But most of all, I want to be able to hold you in my arms. I cry out to God to give us the time we need to hold you before you’re gone. For you to be able to meet your sister and brother, the rest of the family and hopefully some close friends. I feel like you’re a fighter. You’ve made it this far already. Keep kicking butt.
   (The day before, June 5) Tomorrow is the day and I won’t have the time to write anymore before you’re here. Many people are praying for you and us. You’ve already changed so many lives, especially mine and your father’s. We’re nervous, but anxious at the same time.  We have tried to be prepared as much as possible. Preparing our minds and hearts for joy and sadness at the same time. We won’t be packing the car with a car seat and we haven’t made a crib, but I’d be so happy to have to send people home to put those things together for you while we’re in the hospital.
   (June 8) Your birthday was beautiful and that’s because you were the star of the day. I loved looking into your blue eyes, loving on you and holding you. We all did. I’ll let your daddy tell you his side, but I’ll tell you your sister’s and brother’s side… Kristen loved holding and kissing your sweet cheeks, while Drew loved to point and say “baby”.  Kristen and Drew left for the day, but she asked to come back and see you one more time. She held you some more, and right before leaving Drew hugged you while you were laying in your basket the hospital gave us.
   You may not be here anymore, but your love still is. Like God’s love for us…1 Corinthians 13:13, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” You have shown us how to love even more. To share that love with others, and encouraged others to share their love. And through that, we have made it thus far, and will keep spreading God’s love in your honor by helping others. 
   I’ve always had K nicknames in my head for all of you. Kristen is now my “Big K”, as she is oldest and tall. Drew (or Kyle) is “Circle K”, as he loves anything round, balls or balloons. And you’re my “Special K”. We love you sweet girl.

Kirk's Letter:
Dear Kendall,
    Four months ago we found out about your condition.  Before we found out, we prayed for your health.  After we found out, we prayed for your healing.  Mommy carried you for 37 weeks and we heard your heart beating and felt you kick.  You were alive!  Now you are alive in our hearts!  I was able to hold you while you were alive here on earth and you were loved so much.
    You were born with big feet and hands like your sister.  You looked so much like her and I will never forget Kristen holding you and telling you how beautiful you were.  Drew kept pointing at you and saying “baby”.  He had a tennis ball and wanted to share it with you.  When I look at Kristen now, I see you.  I think about reading to you, throwing balls with you and making you laugh and smile.
    It was not supposed to be like this.  You should be home and at night I should be checking on you when I go to bed like I have Kristen and Drew since they have been home.  I know you are in a better place but it is hard not having you here, taking care of you and watching you grow up.
Proverbs 3:5
    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”
I do not understand this but I know I love you and have to trust the Lord that his plan is best.  You have many people that love you and you will always be in my heart.  Say hello to my grandparents for me and give them a hug.

***Wish we could have spoken to everyone there before going to the cemetery. Loved the turn out, love and support! Thank you everyone!!! If you were there, but we didn't get to see you, please let us know!***

At the cemetery we had a short prayer time and all wrote a note to Kendall on balloons, to send up to her before leaving.

(Beautiful weather, requested by Kendall) I'm in love, all over again. With a beautiful girl waiting for me in Heaven, who has a HUGE part of my heart. Like your Daddy wrote, save us a place up there! XOXO

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