Leading to Carry to Term

 Part 1 

Strong Enough by Matthew West

Part 2: (not focusing on the debate of when life begins)

• “Why would God do this?”

2 Cor. 1:9- But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

Exodus 9:16- But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.

Everyone has a purpose. So God might 1) show you His power and 2) have his name proclaimed in all the earth.

Instead of asking “why is God doing this?” Ask yourself, “what purpose do we have?” “We” being you and your unborn child. God wants us to know Him and to feel His love. And, "what are we to learn from this?"

But you might ask, “how is His love being shown through the death of my child?” By choosing to carry to term, you show the world around you the unconditional, unfailing love you have for your child. That you would do anything for your child. Giving God the time He might need to work a miracle. Whether that miracle be to heal you child or in other ways, by bringing others closer to God. God has unconditional love for us.

1 John 4:4, 8, 18- 4 Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world [Satan]. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

• Some say, “I can not put my family through this pain.”

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love cast out fear.” This  feeling of protection may seem like love for the rest of your family, but it won’t show love for your unborn child. If you show your family how much love you have for you unborn child by carrying him or her to term, you cast out that fear by showing them love that overcomes all.

And as for the “fear has to do with punishment”… terminating a pregnancy might not seem to have a punishment, but it raises many questions and emotions that wouldn’t be there if you carry to term. All the “what ifs?”, guilt, and some may not know if “boy or girl?”

So have the courage to educate your family and children on the process of life and death. Not everyone leads a full life to the age of 90. If you walk around a cemetery, there are people of all ages. They were all sent with a purpose. Will you give your child the chance to fulfill their purpose?

• Love

Titus 2:4- “Then they can urge [teach] the younger women to love their husbands and children”

Sometimes LOVE doesn’t come naturally. Some must be urged or taught. Through this experience one learns a deeper love than can ever be expressed in words. 

• To Carry to Term:

1. Shows your love for your child, others are encouraged by that love, the love brings hope.
2. No Regrets, no worries of “what- ifs”
3. Parenting, making decisions for your child’s life, birth planning
4. Community support: don’t be afraid to share, the love will be returned and multiplied.
5. TIME/Moments: Cuddling, bathing a child, dressing a child and inviting relatives to visit.
6. Selflessness
7. Keepsakes: videos, hand/foot prints, pictures, clothes, blankets
8. Perinatal palliative care support

Making memories, celebrating a life.

"These little mementos can really help down the road," Spicketts said. "You can look back and say, 'Yes, this was a part of my life.' That way you treasure and deal with the emotion rather than try to stuff it away."

• After a termination one may proclaim that she feels “alone and empty”.

These feelings may often come up with an infant death at term as well. The child is not inside you or with you anymore. But when one carries to term, the feelings of being alone or empty don’t last as long. Your love that you have shown starts to come back to you, if it hadn’t already. People rally around, give support back. The natural way of life has come full circle and things are complete, without questions. Some say that there is something missing in there heart, or a hole. That hole isn’t empty, it become full of love. Your child being gone is not the hole, but your child fills that hole in your heart.

John 13:34- A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

(Updated) Someone asked me to address more of FEAR.

Again: 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Fear is hard to over come. Fear of the unknown; of this child inside you with what seems to be no hope. This pit in your stomach of confusion, heartbreak and pain. These verses give hope that love is more powerful than fear. When we choose to carry to term, God is there (we aren't alone) with comfort and strength that prevail.

• Anxiety

 Phil. 4:6-7- Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Proverbs 3:5- Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

We may not ever understand, but unless we carry out His will we will never understand. Carrying to term could give more understanding than not doing so and always wondering.

I encourage you to read Mark 5:21-43
God is powerful! And says, "Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

Once you fully give your fears to God, you gain peace.

John 14:27- Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Children are a blessing. Whether here for a short time or a lifetime. When given a child, are you going to say, "I wanted a child, just not that child?"

Deut. 30:19-20- Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.

My journal to Kendall two days before I found out she had anencephaly:
"Feb 14, 2012: Happy Valentine’s Day! 20+weeks. I’m starting to feel some bigger kicks. Thursday is our big ultrasound. 2 more days! LOVE you!"


She was living inside me. She was my baby. I loved her just as much as my other kids already. There's no way I could give up on her.