Monday, May 7, 2012

Mother's Day Coming

Kisses from Kendall
I went into writing this (yesterday) thinking that it would end up similar to my Easter post, in bitterness, but it didn't. Every holiday will be hard for a while.

Quick update on our ultrasound today: Kendall is about 3lbs 10oz so far. C-section is 6 weeks from this Wednesday. I have "high" amniotic fluid, but not alarmingly high to where they will have to do anything about it.They want you around a 25, I was a 27 a month ago, today a 29... probably wouldn't take fluid out till a 40. We didn't get a 3D this time, but we got Kendall's kisses instead!

On to my post:

I was once in a group of ladies who one had a daughter with infertility issues. She put a perspective on Mother’s Day Celebrations in our church that I had never thought of before. The daughter wanted to be at church with her mother, but with Child Dedication on the same day, it seemed as a slap in the face that she couldn’t get pregnant and she didn’t like to go.

I had never had an issue with infertility, as Kristen was 1st try, Drew, 4th, and Kendall 2nd.month. Sometimes, feeling blessed while singing in church, I’d start crying while looking around at friends, who had lost babies, not been able to get pregnant on their own, had miscarriages, and another with a child fighting cancer. Never thinking I could be one of them, as Kendall was planned to be our last, I never knew how hard Mother’s Day could be.

There are many women who are asked about other’s children. “How many do you have? What ages?” And some women with losses are torn just to include the living children to save the other from sad feelings or from making them think they shouldn’t have asked. I hope to be proud enough to say three and explain our “2 living” (when the time comes).

This Mother’s Day could very well be my only one with Kendall. (And for Kirk, Father’s Day will be the weekend before my c-section.) I’m thankful to have her still with us this weekend, even though it’s bitter sweet and it will be more tough roads to come.

To honor all those Mom’s out there reading this with child losses (of any age), miscarriages, or stillbirths I wanted to have a candle lit for all your children…. but since this is the internet, just reply in the comment section (here or on the FB group) with your number in Heaven. They are never to be forgotten. And you will always be their mom. And one day we will meet with them again. Hope you all have a wonderful Mother’s Day!