Tuesday, February 19, 2013

3 Babies Waiting in Heaven

The roller coaster isn't over... Since everything else has been public, and I know everyone cares for us and are praying... this has to be public as well...

Last week I knew I was having two, Thursday one, and today none. (You read that right.)

Leaving the appt on Thursday, Kirk and I felt like the doctor wasn't being too positive. I tried to make my post positive, as there was still hope for one. But Then Friday my spotting was heavier, and I called the nurse. She wanted me to monitor myself  over the weekend. On Monday I had blood work and Tuesday she called with the results that my numbers were down.

Since we had the weekend to mull it over, we're not in shock. I haven't had any physical pain. With all the questions in our head, I think I feel mad more than anything else. But there isn't anything to do about it. I was happy to start trying in January, finally coming out of a funk about living in the past/present of Kendall, looking forward to something in the future to be happy about.... only to be shot down again on the same weekend as last year.

Feel free to say "sorry", but I'm not really up for any "positive" thoughts right now, when we aren't sure about our futures.That's my nice way of saying keep your comments short or to yourself. I was already hurt by a certain comment this weekend. Thank you.

Ps- don't worry if you think you might have said something. The person doesn't read this.

Update- (2/20) after some sleep, I'm of clearer mind and not as bitter or upset. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck.

1 comment:

  1. <3 you friend. i am so sorry. there are no words, it just sucks. praying, praying.