Monday, August 6, 2012

Bad timing; I'm human.

This is for all the people that have ever asked someone something and then put your foot in your mouth for asking.... Like: How's your baby? When the answer is not good.

We sit in the same area each Sunday at church, around the same groups of people. Each Sunday we shake hands with the ones around us and say "good morning". Most of the time, that's the extent of it... if I do see someone I don't recognize, then I'll say more.

There's been this couple who we sit around for years, I feel horrible I don't know their names. Our church directory probably needs updating, since it hasn't been done since even Kristen was born. Older couple, could be our parents. The lady has always been excited and sweet when we've been pregnant. Even gave us a gift when we had Drew.

She had a great smile, but I knew that she had recently been sick and not walking very well. Since we'd found out about Kendall's anencephaly, we hadn't sat close enough to chat when shaking hands. But every now and then she'd look over and wave. She might have been the one person I didn't want to disappoint when telling about Kendall, as she always told us that we could be like her kids.

Her husband had been coming to church by himself or with his daughter the last few weeks. And yesterday was the first time we'd sat close enough (right in front of) to talk with him. My thought was that his wife was at home. So when we turn to shake hands, I asked how his wife was doing.... and I was hit with a ton of bricks when he said, "She passed away, so not too good." For the short time we had to stand there, I said my condolences and turned around.

I cried (out of empathy) the entire service, not knowing a word of what the preacher talked about (sorry Bob), it was also communion day. I hadn't gone through 3-4 tissues since in a long while. In our bulletin there are usually loose papers, but not any blank side, but yesterday there was. I didn't have a card, but I wrote him a note about how sweet his wife was and handed to him when we left.

When it was all said and done, I probably felt worse for asking then he did for being asked. That's how I usually feel talking about Kendall. But in hind sight, I like being asked about Kendall, because those will be the only times I get to talk about her. So, like my friend who sent me the picture of the "Kendall Crib", if there is ever anything that reminds you of my baby, please don't feel bad for letting us know. We'd be happy to know she's been thought of.

Happy 2 Month Birthday baby girl!

Update: I received a  Thank You from Jim (husband, Linda wife). Sweet guy with a sweet wife.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. Kendall has been with Jesus two months now! I can only imagine what she must be seeing, experiencing, and learning. Thank you for being so transparent and such a blessing to those around you. We do not have children yet but I've already learned so much about being a parent just by what you write. Thank you!