Thursday, December 6, 2012

Happy 1/2 Birthday!

Thank you everyone for all your prayers through the holidays! Thanksgiving wasn't that bad. I think it's because it was "normal". I don't have any memories or traditions with the kids, that we would have continued with Kendall. Today might be a different story.

Kendall would be 6 months old today. And doing so much that I won't dwell on. But we started a tradition with Kristen and Drew that we will continue today with Kendall. Unfortunately we're squeezing it in, but it is happening, and that's what counts the most... that we don't skip it. Kirk and I have been to O'Charley's on each first 1/2 birthday for the kids. And with Kristen's school play tonight, we'll be there for the "realllly early bird".

That said, we're really excited that Kristen gets to be the angel Gabriel tonight!She's a beautiful angel today as well, with her little sister watching over her.

Today's Song:
Amy Grant- Breath of Heaven

I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I've done.
Holy father you have come,
And chosen me now to carry your son.

I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.

Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.

Christmas cards are in the mail for a lot of you... but I wanted to post our Christmas letter here as well:

Dear Family and Friends,

    We're not ones who usually type up anything with our Christmas cards, but this year hasn't been like any other. We'd like to continue our "thanks" for all you have done for us this year and for your continued prayers.
    I recently gave my testimony to the high schoolers at our church. Part of it told about my last days as a senior in high school, where I was handed a note card and asked to write where I'd like to be in 10 years. I wrote "1) Graduated college 2) Married 3) with kids". I realized that God let me do my check list. Thankfully God was still apart of the those ten years for Kirk and I to build a foundation on our marriage. This passed year God basically said, "You had your ten years, and now it's my turn".
    The hardest part of my journey with Kendall was the day we found out she had anencephaly. I never said "Why me?" but "What am I to learn from this?" Looking back on this passed year, I can see where things fit together like a puzzle to where we are now. God has broken us. But He has broken us to remold us (Is. 64:8). And Kendall was sent with a purpose (Is. 6:8).
    Since being in the hospital, I've wanted to be able to help others in similar situations. My sister-in-law felt called to help and we've started The Kendall Keepsake Foundation. Our non-profit will be encouraging families to go full term, letting them know their babies have a purpose and helping families that lose babies too soon capture moments with hand and foot print art. I know that I could not have started this without knowing how it is to be in their shoes (2 Cor. 1:3-7). He has called me to let them know their child is in Heaven with Him, and to share how they guarantee that they will be their baby again (John 3:16).
    God lit a fire under me. I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be, but I'm learning how to be a better disciple (Matt. 28:19, Acts 1:8, Rom. 1:6). So please keep the foundation in your prayers, so that we continue to put God first and walk in His path.
    November is the month of Thankfulness with Thanksgiving Day, although we should be thankful all the time. And people did their days on Facebook, but this year I did "thankful verses". I started that with a heavy heart at the beginning of November, because it had been a year since we knew Kendall was on the way. Yes, I'm thankful for a lot, but I found it hard to actually write "I'm thankful for..." (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Was I truly thankful for Kendall's death? So I prayed over those verses and remembered Isaiah 6:8, as it was Kendall who was sent. And if she were able to tell God, "Here I am Lord, send me". How could I not be proud of her and how could I not be thankful for how our lives have changed, as we grow closer to God because of her?
    I could have just blogged all this, and I might also post this, but not everyone who is reading this would have read the blog. It's Christmas time, and I'm truly putting Christ in Christmas, because if He's not, then what are you celebrating? Our baby came to die, just as God sent His Son... to change us. Jesus was not just sent for us, but for everyone (1 John 4). Without the Lord, how do we survive moments as these?
    We took our family pictures this Fall with Kendall represented by the lamb we had at the hospital and a doll a friend made us. She is always with us. The kids are doing very well. And Kirk and I will never be the same. But we can truly thank God for that!

May God bless you and Merry Christmas,
The Cribb's

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