A Year

 

It's not a year since Kendall's been gone, but a year since we found out she was on the way. I remember telling someone at a Halloween Party last year that I didn't want a "drunkin' gummy bear" she was offering b/c I didn't know if we were pregnant or not. I have taken enough pregnancy test, that I do the cheapo Dollar Store ones before wasting money on the $15 ones. This one changed colors immediately, no need for waiting. I think I told Kirk, "go on in and see" with a huge grin. He was thinking, "Already?" 

After telling family, we made it "FBO" (FB Official) November 1st, when starting my 25 Days of Thankfulness for Thanksgiving.

Looking back on this picture now brings some happy emotions. To remember how happy we were. And also to know how loved she is. But it also hurts to see this picture. Because that exact feeling of joyfulness at that moment probably won't come again. If we become pregnant again, we won't be doing the same "happy dance". It will be excitement with a side of scare to death. And until we meet that child and know it is 100% healthy, we will be holding our breaths.

Kendall, You were wanted, you were planned, you are loved, and we miss you.